Where were you?
by Strawberry Scented Paperclip
Summary: I need you Suzaku, but I guess your absence says that you no longer need me huh? Do you really not care about what happens to me?" Suzu/Lulu and some Rolo/Lulu
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do **not** own Code Geass or anything about it, but that's ok because I doubt I'd ever create anything that can hold a candle to it's awesomeness~

**Warnings: **Attempted Suicide

Also this is my first fic ever, so sorry if it totally sucks. This idea has been plaguing my thoughts for awhile now though, so I thought I'd share. :D

Takes place around the time the black knights sold Zero out.

* * *

Lelouch's P.O.V.

I wrote to Suzaku again, and just like last time I haven't received a response yet. It's ok though, I didn't really expect him to write back…as long as he meets me like I asked. He doesn't know how much I really need him, he's all I've got left, my last link to this world. He's the only one who still cares about me. At least…I hope he still cares.

My grip tightens on the edge of the bridge as I stare out at the horizon. The rain clouds are beautiful and calming, I relax a little and continue to wait. I left Suzaku clear instructions to meet me on this bridge, just like I had done in my previous letters. It's the fifth time I've written to him and still he's refused to meet with me. I only hope he comes this time, because it looks like it will rain soon.

I sigh tiredly after a few more hours of waiting and lean against the side of the bridge. Glancing around I see that there's hardly as many people walking around since when I'd first arrived here earlier today. The wondrous storm clouds now considerably much darker than before remind me that it's evening and I've yet to see my dearest friend.

"He's didn't come…" I whisper sadly, shaking my head as I try to fight the tears threatening to spoil my cool demeanor. I shake from the cold gust of wind passing and bring my coat closer to my body. I bet the rainstorm's sure to start soon.

"Suzaku" I say quietly. "I'll wait until the storm passes and darkness colors the heavens if I have to just please…please come see me." I'm aware of the desperation evident in my voice, but it's out of my control. Oh how far I've fallen from my pedestal. I use to have it all, a loving family and great fortune, but Britannia stole that from me. I swore revenge and I've hurt everyone who's ever cared for me in the process. Everything I've done though, has been for them. Can't they see I've only done what's necessary? What everyone else is too afraid or can't do themselves? Now I've got no one…not even my best friend who I was convinced would always have my back will come to me in my time of need.

"I need you Suzaku, but I guess your absence says that you no longer need me huh?" I chuckle mirthlessly. "Do you really not care about what happens to me?" I look around and still see no sign of him anywhere. The bridge I'm standing on connects the Britannia and Japanese part of town together. I chose this location because no one I know is aware of me ever wandering this far out, so I don't have to worry about anyone recognizing me. This bridge curves and overlooks the corner's of some streets. A few small shops litter the streets below me and I can smell the delicious aroma of the food being cooked in the sushi restaurant nearby.

I glare at the happy couple's walking on the street and cradle my stomach as It grumbles loudly. I should've grabbed something to eat before I left, but I had been so sure that this time Suzaku would be waiting for me at the bridge when I arrived. Dammit Suzaku, where are you?! Don't you understand that I want…no…that I **need** to apologize for all the pain I've caused you. I know I haven't exactly been the best friend you deserve, but with any luck you might still consider me a friend.

It starts raining, slowly at first but it picks up momentum quickly. The harsh wind blowing adds to my discomfort, and I regret not bringing an umbrella with me when I walked out of my apartment this morning. I look around once more, and find myself disappointed again. Despair claws at my heart and I slump down to the ground with silent tears streaming down my face. God only knows what I'd give to see those beautiful emerald green eyes again, but I suppose Suzaku hates me too much to allow me that simple pleasure. For awhile now I've been aware that I'm completely and irrevocably in love with Suzaku Kururugi, my best friend, but I killed the love of his life…I stole Euphie from him. I'm not sure if he'll ever forgive me, and I'm not sure if I even deserve to be forgiven but I have to try. It breaks my heart just thinking he could hate me forever.

I'm sobbing loudly now, clutching onto myself for warmth from the vicious cold wind. It's no use trying to stop myself. Nothing will ever mend my broken heart. I've done terrible things, but if it means an end to Britannia's oppressive reign I will be but a small sacrifice. I alone shelter the burden and truth behind Zero. Euphie's death affected me just as much as it did anyone else. She was after all…my first love. I remember when we use to play pretend wedding. I chuckled at the memories that surfaced. Euphie and Nunnally would always fight over who'd be my wife, but those days were over.

I couldn't control my geass, I couldn't stop the command. Suzaku loved Euphie greatly, more than he'd ever love me I know that, but he should understand that it tore me apart to see her die. The dreaded memory haunts me till this day, and I doubt I'll ever find peace until I die. For his sake I decided to let him believe as he pleased and acted as though I didn't care. It's easier for him to just hate me for that mistake…I don't think he'd ever believe me if I told him the truth.

"I'm so sorry Euphie, I really would've loved to rebuild Japan with you. I know my knights would've liked to have met you."

My Knights, my "loyal" black knights that I've given everything to have betrayed me….I suppose I should've seen this coming. I care deeply for them, but they sold me out to Britannia. Didn't I complete my promises to them? Had I not led them successfully this far? I don't recall stating the manner in while I planned to accomplish their freedom from Britannia. I simply asked for their assistance in helping me liberate Area 11 from Britannia, but it seems they no longer need me for that. They abandoned me to my own fate, and sold me to our sworn enemy. Not even Kallen, my ace, had really stood up to defend me. She'd arrived outraged at Ohgi, but hadn't done much in my defense after he'd told her I had used my geass to manipulate others. She yelled out when they were about to shoot me, but I guess none of that matters. If I ever saw her again I know she'd follow through with whatever Ohgi had planned for them now. I no longer held her loyalty. I swear it wasn't my intention to betray them though! They were faithful and fought bravely for me, and I wanted to be the one to bring them the peace they longed for. Why couldn't they understand that all I've done has been for everyone's own good? If I had used my geass on them it was because I had no choice. The whole ordeal left another scar on my already wounded heart.

I know I'll never regain the trust of my knights. The group I'd formed had grown considerably since our first fight in the Shinjuku ghetto. I was proud that we've gotten this far. Can they win against Britannia without me? Ohgi's betrayal was painful, and it reminds me just how unpredictable people can be. I admit at first I was only in it for my own selfish desires. I wanted to secure a peaceful world for my dearest sister, my beloved Nunnally

I shake violently as a strong gust of cold air hits me. The rain has me completely soaked, and it doesn't look like it will end soon. I stand up and watch as a few people run past the shops to find shelter.

I miss my sister quite terribly, but now not even Nunnally stands beside me. She'd once clung to my every word, and I had told her the absolute truth, always. I had vowed to restore Japan to its former glory so she could live a peaceful life, but it looks like fate had a different plan. Now we're torn apart, and I've changed from fighting for her to fighting against Britannia's oppression against anyone. It's not just about liberating Japan now, but bringing serenity to all the other countries too. Zero fights for justice without discriminating. Zero, my created persona, has become the face of justice just like I intended, and his only purpose is to create peace and bring hope. Zero is no more now that I've been kicked out of the black knights. I pushed everyone that cared for me away to fully become Zero, and now I have nothing. I have no one.

I think of C.C. and wonder what she's up to now. The green haired witch hasn't shown up yet, but I figure she'll seek me out eventually. She wants me to complete my end of the agreement. I doubt she cares for much else besides that. I could tell she's always found me amusing and has even stepped in to save my life a few times because of it.

I find myself sinking into an even deeper depression now. No one will miss me, everyone wants me gone. I know deep down it's for the better if I just roll over and die. Rolo comes to my mind suddenly at the thought of death and I smile gently at his memory. Oh Rolo, you don't know how much I miss you. I can truly say without a doubt, that I loved you. You are the only one who's returned my love so affectionately. You stayed by my side, even when I told you I hated you.

"I'm so sorry Rolo, please forgive me" I whisper and try to mask my emotions behind a facade of indifference. If anyone had been looking at me I'm sure they'd feel pity, but no one notices me much these days. I'm nothing but a shadow. Someone who should be dead but for some reason isn't.

Thank you Rolo, for saving my life. If it wasn't for you I would have been successfully handed over to Britannia on a silver platter, compliments of my black knights. You fought bravely for me, and for that Rolo I should've given you more than I did. You never had anything, and I'm glad I made you feel important.

I smile and bring my hand into the right pocket of my coat. I slowly caress the small locket inside and bring it out carefully to avoid it getting wet. I don't want to risk it getting permanently damaged by the rain. I cradle it in my hands and hunch over the edge of the bridge so I can protect it better. The locket is simple. It's a white heart shape outlined in gold with a four leaf clover in the center. I gave it to Rolo on Nunnally's birthday while I was still under the illusion that he was my brother. I know why he'd always kept it with him. It was the first gift he'd ever received. I couldn't help but bring it with me after I buried him. The thought of Rolo's death destroyed my happy thoughts, and brought back terrible memories. I opened the locket slowly and let it's quiet melody fill my ears.

-----------------------Flashback--------------------------------------------------------------------

Rolo had just pulled me out of the black knights domain. He had just saved my life, just as I thought my life was over.

"Stop! It's enough , Rolo!" I yelled out at him still shocked from this whole event. If everyone's really betrayed me, if everyone wants me gone, I don't want to risk Rolo's life for my sake!

"Rolo!" I cried out again. "I don't have anymore reasons to live…" Oh no…I thought. He's overusing his geass!

"Using your Geass with this much range…Rolo, at this rate, your heart won't be able to handle it!" I cry out panicked. Dammit Rolo are you trying to get yourself killed?! All of a sudden a blast hits us from the back and we both get violently shoved forward. His phone falls and hit's the dashboard. The charm I got him opens and this beautiful melody fills the air. I try to reason with him again.

"It's enough, Rolo. I no longer…"

"No, Brother, you-" He says, and I notice he's about to use his geass again.

"St-" I don't get to finish my thought before Rolo activates his geass.

"-op Rolo! For someone like me, why are-"

"-you saving me?! I've-"

"-been using-"

"-you…Rolo?!" I finish wide eyed. He looks horrible. There's a darkness under his eyes.

He coughs violently and finally says something. "So now. I…"

"Stop" I yell. "Don't use your Geass! Do you want to die-" He uses his geass again, and we manage to escape from our pursuers.

"Rolo, why did you save me? I used you…" We're now sitting in a quiet somewhere. God, Rolo looks really bad…

"Brother…you're a liar…You lied right?" He asked. A hopeful look gleaming in his eyes. "Saying stuff like wanting to kill me…that you hated me…" He said weakly. Rolo was still sitting in the Knightmare holding onto the controls. I have my arms at both sides of the seat. He looked so weak…I felt like crying but I have to keep calm.

"I see. You saw through my lies. You are indeed my brother" I say warmly, smiling up at him calmly.

"That's…right…I Know…Everything…About you…Brother" he finishes with a calm smile on his face. The peaceful look remains on his face even after he closes eyes for the last time.

"Yeah, that's right. Your brother is a liar." I'm glad I met you Rolo. I'm sorry I couldn't offer you more.

-----------------------End Flashback---------------------------------------------------------------

The violent storm was hard to focus on now. All I could think about was my dearest brother. I smiled lovingly at his locket, and gently kissed it before tucking it safely back in my pocket. It was him who'd saved me from the black knights. He was the one who always came to me asking if I needed anything. He cared so much for me, but I hadn't allowed myself to fully love him like he'd wanted. I was still stuck on Suzaku, and the frustration from thinking of his love for Euphemia made me lash out at poor Rolo. I wasn't always mean to him though. I loved him, and we did indeed share a few passionate nights together in my room. I blushed just thinking of how awkward our first time together had been. His love and devotion carried me through a lot of tough times, and to think my interest in him had started after Kallen's rejection when I thought Nunnally had died.

I shivered and coughed loudly. The rain was relentless, and I'm sure I'd managed to catch a cold. I heard footsteps nearby and glanced around anxiously. A couple was walking past me and I glared at their retreating forms. I can't believe I'd gotten so nervous for nothing. I was angry and hungry. How dare Suzaku stand me up again. Did he honestly forget about me?

I felt a pang of jealousy and regret. Why did he have to fall in love with Euphie? Why couldn't he love me instead? Maybe if I'd never accepted this geass he'd still have my back and care for me as his best friend.

I sighed heavily and continued to lean over the side of the bridge so I could see down below. If Rolo were alive…I know he'd be here with me. Why did he have to die? I've realized now he was the only real person to truly care for me. He stood by me even when I was treating him harshly. I should've just died with you Rolo…if we could be together in death at least I'd have someone with me. Anything was better than this loneliness. You were the last person to look at me with something other than fear and loathing. Everyone who knew me, who knew what I've done rejected me.

I guess this proves it. Suzaku's not coming, and he never will. He's forsaken me. I can't stop the sobs that wreck my body.

He'll never love me. I accepted it long ago, but now he won't even hear me out.

I really have lost everything. The weather hardly fazes me now. I'm numb, inside and out. My eyes widen and I look back at the bridge.

"Was that Rolo?" I ask myself aloud in disbelief. My mind was playing tricks on me and I knew it. He's dead. I buried him myself. I sigh tiredly and close my eyes. Maybe I need to lay down. I message my temples and look down. I'm shocked to see Rolo staring back at me from directly below me. His light purple eyes stare up at me sweetly, and his expression is serene despite the paleness of his skin and bags under his eyes. I bring my hand up to my mouth and look down in horror. He looked just as worn out as when I'd last seen him…right before he died. Is he going to blame me for taking his locket away?

A smile lights his face and be holds up his arms as if he was asking me for a hug. He talks, and his sweet voice fills my ears.

"Brother, I've missed you" he says still not bringing his arms down. "Why don't you come with me this time? No one here appreciates you like I do. I love you Lelouch, and I know you miss me too."

"Rolo…how…w-why? How are you back?!"

He frowns and I feel terrible. "Aren't you happy to see me? Please come down here Lelouch."

I know he's just in my imagination, but he completely captivates me. I need this. I need to be recognized. What I crave most right now is affection, and if this illusion can give me that, I don't need anything else. His imagine flickers and he disappears. I understand what he meant by coming down now. He wants me to jump off. He wants me to join him in death…

"Well Rolo, it looks like you've won. I regret not dying with you, but it's ok because you're here now and nothing can tear us apart." I smile down at where he had previously been. Genuine happiness fills me but turns into sorrow at having no one mourn my death. I will finally stop being a burden to everyone I think sadly. It's obvious no one here cares for me anymore, but Rolo cares, and he's waiting for me on the other side. I nod having reached my conclusion. I look out at the bridge one last time. My final hope of seeing Suzaku is crushed. This was it, it was now or never. I'd stated that if he didn't come today I wouldn't bother him anymore. At least the news of my death will bring him happiness. I turn back to the ledge and glace down at the ground below. The floor was about 20 feet from the ground.

I climbed over the edge and jumped down without a second thought. The few brief moments of free falling made me feel nervous and I shut my eyes tightly. The next thing I knew pain had filled my senses. I heard something break on impact and I could feel my head spinning. My thought's were jumbled and I knew it wouldn't be long till I lost all consciousness. It hurt to breathe…I'm sorry I couldn't finish avenging you mother, I can't take this loneliness. I can feel hot tears streaming down my face and smile bitterly. I hope you're happy now everyone…please take care of yourself, Nunnally.

I drew my last painful breath and vaguely heard what sounded like a gasp. None of that matters now though, soon I won't even be a part of this world. Please wait for me Rolo. The last picture that came to my mind was of a younger Suzaku, holding out his arm and smiling down at me with his beautiful emerald green eyes. I hope this makes you happy Suzaku…Euphie's killer is finally dead.

* * *

Author's Note: Hope it turned out well~

Also I tried to fix the mistakes from before. The one's I caught anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do **not** own Code Geass or anything like that, but my orange ipod **is** named after one of the characters~

**Warnings: **Swearing ( Eh, it's not a big deal but just to be on the safe side I'll mention it.)

Thanks for the reviews guys. You don't know how much I appreciate them. It helps me know I don't totally fail as an author. Glad you liked this idea too. :D

I'm aware that I had some spelling mistakes in the first chapter, sorry. Hopefully I won't make any mistakes on this one.

Anyways, on with the show!

* * *

Suzaku's P.O.V.

"That bastard! How dare he try to talk to me. It's too late for that" I scoffed and tightened my hold on the letter I'd just received. The pressure I added bent the paper around where my fingers were. He didn't deserve my presence. I didn't have to read the letter to know what it said. Surely it said the exact same thing the first two did. I burned all four I received. I didn't bother to read the last two he'd sent, his notes were pointless. I can't risk people thinking I actually associate with scum like Zero.

I only hope whatever hell he's facing now is a suitable punishment. I know he won't get what he deserves though. Only a few people know his actual identity, and now that the black knights have discarded him like the piece of trash he is I'm sure he'll take the opportunity to try to cover his tracks. Still though, I can't help but hope he does something stupid and gets himself killed. That would put an end to all my problems…

That demon killed Euphie, my dearest Euphie. I loved her like a sister, and her own brother had murdered her without giving her so much as a second glance! He just shot her at point blank and marched on like nothing had ever happened! How could he do that to her? Did he have no conscious? Had that stupid witch, C.C., morphed him that much?! Damn the black knights, and damn Lelouch most of all!

I slammed my fists against the smooth oak wood of my writing desk and glared at the now crumpled letter in my left hand. I couldn't stand to look it anymore, so I threw it on my desk. I turned around and paced around my room. It was pretty spacious here at the military academy. The Knights of the Round members got their own rooms away from the rest, and each were elaborately decorated. My room was no exception despite me being an eleven. It's ironic, I never thought I'd end up this high ranked so soon. Sure I planned on climbing my way up, but even I had to admit this was pretty soon. I disgracefully owe this position to Lelouch, my supposedly best friend.

I think back for a bit. Back at Ashford Academy he'd always been so happy. Now we're fighting on opposite sides and I don't even recognize him anymore. I doubt he thinks of us as best friends anymore, it's strange though…despite everything he's done I still consider him mine. It's odd, I know, but I feel nostalgic when I remember him. If he'd never murdered Euphemia, If he showed remorse instead of indifference then maybe, just maybe I'd forgive him. I laugh bitterly. That's never going to happen, Lelouch is a selfish beast who prefers to wage war than find peace. I honestly have no idea what he wants to tell me by sending me these letters, but I highly doubt it's worth my time. He's pathetic if he needs me around just to feel in control again. I won't fall for anymore of your bullshit Lelouch! Sometimes I wonder if we were ever really friends.

I shake my head. I'm sure at some point he was the caring loving brother he always was around Nunnally, and I'm sure his intentions use to be pure. It must've been C.C. that poisoned him, or at least persuaded him to feed off his hatred. Wait…why the hell am I defending him? Sure, I consider him my best friend, but that's probably because he was the first friend I ever made. I doubt anything could ever justify his actions.

Nunnally doesn't know what's happened to him. She still cares for him though. It's easy to tell. Sometimes, when I pass by her room heading to mine, I can hear her praying for him. If only she knew what he's done. If she knew **everything**, would she still pray for him? Hope he's alive and well?

I'd kill him myself if I could, but the bond between us isn't completely severed. I know I'd feel guilty after. I sighed dejectedly. I'm sorry Euphie, I can't avenge you. Killing him would be like killing my childhood. I sit down on one of the couches in my room and lean back a bit. I close my eyes and imagine Euphie again. Her cheerfulness was enough to brighten any room. I smile happily and let myself drift into my memories of her.

"God Euphie, you're nothing like your brother" I whisper lovingly to no one in particular. You truly we're amazing Euphie.

Suddenly my door bursts open and I snap out of my reverie. I quickly turn around and see Gino and Anya come waltzing in as if they owned the place. I thought I locked the door after the messenger left…

"Hey Suzaku" Gino chirped gleefully. "How have you been, did you get the message?" he said glancing around.

"We've all been summoned for an emergency meeting" Anya said emotionlessly not looking up from her phone.

"What's going on?" I asked unsure.

"We don't know yet" answered Gino. He slowly walked over to my desk and picked up Lelouch's note. "Why did you crumble up the note they sent Suzaku?" He smoothed the note out as much as he could. "Oh! This isn't the note" he said teasingly.

Dammit! What if they find out who it's really from?! I stand up quickly and rush over to where Gino is.

He laughs heartily. "Your girlfriend has really pretty handwriting Suzaku."

I snatch it out of his hand before he can unfold the note and read anymore. "Don't touch my stuff Gino!" I yell angrily.

"Geez Suzaku relax a little. It's not like I'm going to try and steal your girlfriend away from you or something. That is…unless you don't like her anymore, I'll be glad to take her off your hands if that's the case" Gino says wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

As if anyone could really give Lulu away. He's always done as he fucking pleased, and look just how well that's worked out for him.

I glare furiously at him, and blush slightly at his implications. 'As if Lelouch would ever settle for anyone like me' I think coldly. He probably thinks himself to be better than the world. My silence must've caused some serious tension because Anya spoke up.

"Calm down guys. Gino! Leave Suzaku alone, if he wants to keep his love letters to himself then just let him do what he wants" she scolded him. He frowned a bit and apologized.

I rubbed my temples and sighed. "Why don't you guys wait outside? I'll be out in a sec."

"Sure Suzaku, just don't keep us waiting like last time or we'll come back and drag you there ourselves" Gino stated playfully, although I knew he was fully capable of doing such a thing.

They both walked out of the room, and once I made sure the door was closed I fumbled in my pocket for my desk keys. I unlocked the top drawer and stuffed Lelouch's letter in there. I couldn't afford anyone finding it. I'll read it later. If Lulu keeps insisting on sending notes I'll have to see what he wants.

Once I made sure the drawer was sealed shut, I walked out of my room to join Gino and Anya.

* * *

The meeting wasn't as urgent as they tried to make it seem. The black knights were still around trying to ruin Britannia's plans. They're not much of a threat now a days. They're nothing without Lelouch. Li Xingke, leader of the coup d'état in china, and Ohgi are the new leaders of the black knights, but Xingke will probably succumb to his illness one of these days. He's the only one in the black knights who even comes close to matching Lulu's intelligence, so I have no doubt that once he's gone for good there will be absolutely nothing to stop us from crushing those terrorists once and for all.

I smile victoriously. It doesn't matter what they do, Britannia will eventually put a stop to all their plans. Once I become the Knight of One I'll make sure to free Area 11 the proper way. The black knights don't offer the best solutions, yet still people insist on rooting for them and defend Zero's name. I honestly don't understand.

"The black knights should quit while they still can" I heard Anya say from behind me. I turn around and see her debating something with Gino. I Slowed down and waited until my friends caught up with me to continue walking.

"They can't help it Anya. The black knights will fight tooth and nail to defend what they believe is justice. Honestly…I have to say, I admire their courage" Gino said contently. His silly smile made me angry. Why was he defending those terrorists?

"Those vigilantes should stay out of the way. All they're causing is grief and more war. If they just give in to Britannia, maybe not as many people will have to die" I say confident that my reasoning is flawless.

Gino looks at me in disbelief. "How could you deny them their right to defend themselves Suzaku? Yes, it's bad that people have to die, but it's better to die with dignity fighting for what you believe in. Dying like a coward or bowing down to your oppressors doesn't sound right to me." I gave him an annoyed look and he continued. "Look, don't get me wrong, I love my country, but sometimes I disagree with their methods. Remember Suzaku, not even laws are perfect."

"Well this is where we part ways, Suzaku" Anya said, effectively cutting me off. "Unless you want to come with us. Gino and I are going down to eat" she said evenly.

I sighed tiredly. "No, Anya don't worry about me. I think I'm going to take a nap."

"Oh, I get it! A "nap" huh? I bet your going to write to your girlfriend" Gino laughed lightly.

"Shut up, it's just a note from a friend" I yell.

"Mhmm, sure it is" he says sounding totally unconvinced.

"Whatever" I respond defeated. If he wants to believe that Lelouch is my girlfriend then I won't stop him. There's no reasoning with him anyway.

They leave and I head to my room. I should go take a nap. I think I'll head into town tomorrow. I don't have anything to do anyways, and I've been given two weeks off. The black knights are losing their steam. I smile cynically to myself. I knew it, they're going to be caught now. Soon all this fighting will be over, and those vigilantes will be paying for their crimes in jail.

A small hand grabs my arm and I turn around immediately. Nunnally was there, looking up at me innocently from her wheel chair. She's such a sweet little girl. I'm glad she's free from Lelouch. He would taint her for sure. I smile and bring my other arm around to gently embrace her.

"Suzaku!" she chirps sweetly. A beautiful smile lights her features and I ruffle her hair a little. She laughs and I kneel down beside her.

"Hey there Nunnally. How are you today?"

"I'm great! Please Suzaku" she glanced around for a bit before continuing, "I want to ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me."

"Umm, I guess so…What do you want to know Nunnally?" I ask dreading her next words. How can I deny her a simple question?

Her smile grows and she clasps her hands in front of her happily. Her eyes and posture change to show relief at my response. I still wasn't use to seeing her eyes. She recently learned to see again. It was strange since she had been blinded for so long…I'm glad she's regained her vision though.

"Thank you, Suzaku. I know you know where Lelouch is" she whispers. Her blue eyes shining with hope.

I gasp. How could she possibly know that? I stutter a bit, trying to come up with something to say.

She holds up a hand, signaling me to stop. "I know because my big brother loves you too much Suzaku" she looks away and laughs lightly. "He can't lie to me…I know him too well. You're his best friend Suzaku, no matter how cruel he seems, I know you still hold some importance to him. Besides, you just proved it yourself" she said smiling up at me again.

I started at her in disbelief. Nunnally…you're more perceptive than I thought. Without a doubt, you truly are Lelouch's sister.

"I wanted to ask…can you tell me where he is or…take me to him? I need to speak with him, Suzaku" she said sadly. "Please…ever since I was a little girl I knew I didn't need to see or walk, because my big brother was always there to protect me. He didn't care about himself, he always thought of me first. He even lied to me the first time we met with you…do you remember?" She had tears in her eyes.

"Of course I remember Nunnally…"

-------------------Flashback----------------------------------------------------------------------------

My father had just informed me that two Britannian brats were going to be staying with us for awhile. And I was furious. How could he allow them to stay with us?! I ran out to the storage room and started taking out my frustration on the junk there. I heard footsteps so I climbed the ladder and hid behind some boxes.

"Are we there yet brother?" I heard a young girl say.

"Uhh…yeah" said a distraught boy.

"What kind of a room is our new home like?" said the little girl innocently.

"It's a really nice place," lied the boy. "It's got walls as white as snow, and it has flowers on the windowsill."

"It sounds a lot like Euphie's room."

"Yeah, it's a little small, but it's just for you and me Nunnally, so…" he paused for a bit. "Who's there?" he yelled. He took a step forward and yelled again. "You there, show yourself! Who the hell are you?"

I stepped forward, "This was my place to begin with," I said angrily. I can't believe that boy would dare to speak to me in such a way. Didn't he understand that he was in _my_ house now?!

"_Your_ place?" the boy said confused.

"You damned impudent Britannians. Do you think you can make Japan into one of your colonies?" I said condescendingly. Damn those Britannians. They're all scum, every last one of them!

"Japan has a share of colonies as well. Though your method of control is economic rather than military" he finished coldly.

"What?" How dare this kid try to make us look like them. We'll never be anything like them.

"Japan and Britannia really aren't that different."

"You're lying!" I said vehemently.

"I am not! Just ask your father."

"You're a liar, there are no white walls here" the young girl gasped "and there's no windowsills filled with flowers either!" I cried.

"Shut up!" he yelled.

Before I knew it I was charging at the boy in a blind rage, but then…I kicked him and he fell down. I was kneeling at his feet before I could even catch my breath

*_**punch**_* "How do you like that *_**punch**_* you damned *_**punch**_* Brit." *_**punch**__* _Don't *_**punch**_* mess *_**punch**_* with *_**punch**_* Japan! *_**punch**_*

"Stop it! Ugh…" he cried out in pain. I punched him again. "You barbarian!"

"Stop it please! I don't know who you are" she panted "I'll do anything I can to help you!" the little girl yelled out terrified.

"You-you aren't blind are you?" I looked at her now, she had tears in her eyes and she shook a little.

"Yes, so please…calm down. I can do nothing to hurt you. I can't fight, or run…so please.."

"Then…" I looked around sheepishly. "Sorry!" I yelled and dashed out of the room.

Dammit, why did I scare her? If her brother hadn't provoked me, no, it's not his fault. I started the fight, and I knew full well he was weaker than me. Britannian or not, I should know better.

----------------------End Flashback--------------------------------------------------------------------

"He lied to make me feel better. Even when the situation was grim, he didn't hesitate to put aside his grief to cheer me up." She was holding on to my hand tightly. "Please Suzaku," she said sadly "now he needs my help. I have to be there for him, just like he was always there for me. Even if, if he's changed for the worse…I have to try. I at least owe him that…if he doesn't want me around though…I guess…I'll have to leave him…"

She sounded so lost. "Don't worry Nunnally. I'll go see him, and I'll tell him how much you want to spend time with him." I smiled at her determined. I promise Nunnally, I'll make sure your request is granted, even if I have to beg…

"Thank you so much Suzaku," she sniffled and embraced me tightly. I hugged her back gently, and pushed her chair back into her room. I knew she was tired, so I picked her up and laid her down in her bed. She smiled and fell asleep almost instantly. Poor Nunnally, this has been bothering you for awhile huh? I let myself out quietly and head back to my room.

I enter my room and can't resist laying down myself. It's been a long day and I missed some sleep last night, a little nap won't hurt. I yawned and made myself comfortable.

I stretched and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Hmm, I wonder what time it is. I glanced around and saw it was starting to get dark out. It was raining outside too. I got up and glared in the mirror. I left my uniform on when I slept, now it was wrinkled. I guess I could just change into another one, but it was still annoying. I looked down at my vanity and stared at the framed picture I had of me and Euphemia. I had just been knighted and we were celebrating. I caressed the frame lightly. Euphie, I miss you so much. I sigh and look down at my hands. I can't avenge you, Lulu means too much to me. If he died it would have to be someone else that killed him. You wouldn't even want me to kill him though would you? You're too nice.

I smile and walk over to my desk. I take the key out of my pocket and open the drawer. I pull out Lelouch's letter and a small picture I keep buried at the very bottom of the drawer. It's one of me and Lelouch back when we still lived in the Kururugi Estate. We were smiling up at the camera and Lelouch was holding some Sunflowers. He was going to surprise Nunnally with them.

"I can't hate you, Lulu," I say tiredly. I guess I just wanted someone to pin the blame on. I've been responsible for so many things…I really hope you haven't turned into a demon, because even then…I don't think I can bring myself to kill you. At least, not without hating myself for the rest of my life.

I carefully put the picture back inside my drawer. This is all I've allowed myself to keep of you Lelouch. I hope you don't make me regret it later. I closed the drawer again and locket it. I open his letter and start reading it.

_Dear Suzaku,_

_I know you hate me, but still I want to know if you'll come see me. Please, I need to speak with you. This is a matter of urgency. I guess I shouldn't demand it, but I can't stand it anymore! As you know by now, I no longer lead the black knights. You're the only person, the only one that I trust enough to get in touch with. I know you can easily lead me into a trap and it's ok. I'll let them capture me if that's what you really want, but please, please allow me to speak with you first. I'll be waiting on the bridge a week from today. I'm sure you know which one by now…don't worry Suzaku. I promise I'll leave you alone forever after this, all you have to do is ask, and I'll disappear. If you don't show up, I understand. This is the last letter I'll be sending to you. If you don't wish to see me I guess this will make you happy…please come though…I'll wait until it the sun goes down._

_Yours Truly,_

_Lelouch_

Hmm, I wonder when he wrote this. I look around and see the date. Dread fills me instantly. This note was written a week ago! I'm suppose to meet him today. I look out and see that it's already dark out. Dammit! Why the hell did I take that nap?

His words unnerved me. Is he alright? He seemed a bit…depressed. I have to get some answers, and tell him about Nunnally. Without a second thought I shove the letter in my pocket and rush out the door. Luckily the bridge he wanted to meet on is only an hour away. I just hope he waits for me…I'm so sorry Lelouch…

* * *

I get out of the cab I hired to bring me here and pay him quickly. I rush out into the heavy storm and sigh in despair. There's no way in hell Lelouch would wait out here in a storm like this. I'm stupid, I didn't even bring an Umbrella. I run to the bridge as fast as I can.

I smile a bit. I wonder how he is, he might feel guilty for what he's done. He's willing to get captured…something's definitely up. I might have to be the one who apologizes though, I'm like two hours passed the time he said he'd stop waiting. God I hope he's here. I don't want him to disappear…

I near the bridge but something catches my attention. Near the spot Lelouch wanted to meet. I walk over there curiously. Why is there a crowd of people out here in this storm? I shiver and curse my luck. This cape isn't meant to keep me warm. I get close and hear some people talking. It's all jumbled, I only hear bits and pieces of different conversations.

"I can't believe it"

"What happened"

"I heard the wind pushed him off."

"Oh, poor thing!"

"I saw him jump!"

"Really?!"

"Someone pushed him off! I saw it."

I pushed past some people there and make my way towards the center. When I reached it I felt my heart drop. There in the center of everyone, lay Lelouch...motionless. I can't move, I feel petrified. My eyes widen and I stare horrified. Lelouch, he looks so, so…unnatural. His limbs shouldn't bend that way…

There's some people trying to help him, but he just lays there, lifeless like a doll. His face is twisted in pain, and then I see hope. I see him breathe! It's very weak but I see his chest rise and drop slowly! I quickly shove the people off of him and hold him tightly.

"Lelouch…" I whisper. I don't care that my knees are completely soaked in his blood, and that the rain and cold air are making me shiver. I move the hair from his face…he shouldn't be like this. He should never look this vulnerable! Guilt creeps into me, It's my fault…please don't let it be too late. Please god, don't let me be too late again. Euphie flashes into my mind. Her smiling face and the kind words she whispered as she lay there dying in front of me resurfaced.

No! You're not leaving me Lelouch, I won't allow it! I can hear ambulance sirens approaching, and I hold him closer. I caress his face. Lulu…you're not going to leave me right? We said we'd be there for each other no matter what remember? I sob loudly. I don't care who sees me.

The paramedics come out and tear him away from me. I stare helpless as they tie him to the stretcher. They let me go with them, because I know him. I watch as they fight to keep him alive. How could I allow this? It's all my fault…

Please, please don't leave me, Lelouch…

* * *

Author's Note: I apologize if there's any errors in this one. Hope you guys enjoyed, review if you have time please~

I greatly appreciate it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I do **not** own Code Geass or anything, but I bet it would be pretty cool

**Warnings: **Swearing? :o

Thanks for reading and reviewing~

I'm not perfect so I could make mistakes, let's hope I didn't.

Suzaku was kind of a jerk at first last chapter, but that's because he pissed me off after Euphie died by acting like that. I had to retain some of his bastard qualities. I'm going to keep his P.O.V. for now, but let me know if you think I should change to just Normal P.O.V.

Either way is fine with me. Anyways though, on with the show~

* * *

Suzaku's P.O.V.

I was sitting in the waiting room, anxiously awaiting a status update. Lelouch was rushed to an emergency room. So far I haven't been allowed to see him, and from what I hear he is _still _being treated. I thought they would be done by now. I've been waiting here for two hours already! Those bastards better not be taking a break!

I sigh and slouch forward, covering my face in my hands. This is all my fault. If I would've just came earlier, if I had just read the damn letter earlier he wouldn't be in this situation. Why am I so stubborn? Did it rub off on me from you, Lelouch?

I look up at the boring white walls of the hospital waiting room. There's several other people here waiting to be looked at too. Most of them Britannian. I suppose it shouldn't be surprising, the hospital Lulu was taken too was Britannian after all. People were giving me strange looks. I couldn't tell if it was because of my Knight of the Rounds uniform, or because I'm an Eleven. I guess I couldn't blame them, I'd probably be staring if I were them too.

I yawned and leaned back on my seat tiredly. It was late, but I'd force myself to stay up if I had to. Luckily that nap I took earlier was proving useful now, but this seat was so uncomfortable I doubt I'd be able to get some sleep in it even if I hadn't napped in the afternoon.

Glancing down at myself from my seated position I could see the dirt and blood stains on my uniform. I must look like a wreck right now. I was angry that my clothes had gotten wrinkled earlier, but that's nothing compared to how it is now. I suppose I'll have to throw this set away.

I heard the quiet click of the door leading to the patient's rooms open and a Doctor came out with a clipboard. Thinking he was going to call on some random patient again I got up and started walking towards him. I was about to demand he tell me when I'd be able to see Lelouch, but I stopped when I saw the serious look he had on his face. I guess he was finally going to tell me something. Hopefully something to ease this guilt I'm feeling.

"Listen here…Kururugi was it? Your friend looks fine, but we're going to have to run some tests to make sure. You're the only person here that knows him, and I appreciate you taking the time to fill us in on some of your friends information. He should be well on his way to recovery. I'd give him a few weeks, maybe a month, but if this happens again…he'll be too weak to live through it. He lost a lot of blood, and he's broken some bones. He should consider himself quite lucky. One of his broken ribs nearly punctured his liver, but fortunately it narrowly missed it. He also suffered some serious head trauma in the accident, and I suppose I should warn you just incase. It is very possible that your friend, Lelouch, can enter a coma. As of now though that's only speculation. We should know in a few days depending if he wakes up or not" his face was hard and he stared at me condescendingly. "Will you be taking care of his hospital bill?"

"Yes, I will. Just make sure you do everything in your power to make sure Lulu gets the best treatment." He gave me a disgusted look when I mentioned Lelouch's nickname.

"Don't worry, we're taking really good care of him. I wonder though, how exactly did his accident occur?"

"I don't know, when I arrived at the scene he was already on the floor injured and people were crowding around him frantically, but I intend on asking him what happened when he wakes up" I said concerned.

What happened to you Lelouch? Why were you laying there like that with all those people around you?

"I see," he said. The doctor's expression quickly changed from curious into an accusingly and unbelieving look. "In any case, you can leave your number with the receptionist, and we'll contact you in a few days to tell you how he's doing."

"No!" I yelled worried. "I can't leave yet, I want to wait here for him. I don't want to abandon him in this place where he has no one." I had my suspicions that Lelouch had done this to himself. I can't leave without speaking with him and confirming that we're still on good terms. He needs to know that I haven't abandoned him. We're bound to each other, whether we like it or not.

"Fine. You may wait here in the waiting room if you insist, but don't start any trouble with anyone or I'll personally call security and make sure they throw you out. Personally I think your friend is better off without you anyway."

"What?!" I cry out. "How **dare **you say that to me! Lelouch is my best friend, and I've **always** been there for him." I understand that I'm lying when I say this, but dammit this guy needs to mind his own fucking business. Lelouch is _my_ best friend, I'm pretty sure I know what's best for him here. This stupid doctor's barely met us and he's already assuming shit. "Also, I demand you let me see him right now. I want to spend my time here by his side. Not in the waiting room."

"Look Kururugi, as far as I know, you could be the one who did this to him. How do I know you're really his friend? He's Britannian and you're a filthy Eleven" he spit out. He looked me up and down, "I can't believe they let a pathetic number like you join the elite ranks. Tell me Kururugi, did you bribe them into letting you become a Knight of the Rounds? Did you pay them well to accept you?"

'I sold out my friend to become one actually' I thought bitterly to myself. If I said that out loud though, he definitely wouldn't let me see Lulu.

"Listen, I earned this rank alright?" I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible. "This isn't about be being a Knight of the Rounds though, this is about Lulu." He glared at me again when I mentioned his nickname…I guess he doesn't like the idea of Britannian's and Elevens being friends. Too bad, because I wouldn't trade my friendship with Lelouch for anything in the world.

"I don't trust you, Kuru-"

"If I wanted to hurt him, believe me sir, he would be dead by now! And there's no way in hell I'd be waiting for him to get better, if I had been the one to cause him pain. Especially not in this insufferable lobby. Oh and another thing! I sure as hell wouldn't pay for his bill either" I sneered, no longer in the mood to put up with his bullshit excuses.

He glared at me, obviously not liking my tone very well. He stood in front of me silently contemplating what he should do. Finally, after what seemed like ages, he sighed and nodded his head.

"I'll let you stay with him, but if you hurt him, I'll have security up there faster than you can blink. I will also notify the authorities and have them deal with you" he stated smoothly. "Keep your hands to yourself, he's a very elegant and delicate boy, I wouldn't want your filth contaminating my patient."

I scowl and follow the doctor through the door he came out of. Out of all the doctors in the world, Lelouch just had to get a racist one. This is unbelievable. I have the worst luck in the world.

The place is bustling with life from inside the door. Phones are ringing and nurses are running about trying to deliver medicine to their respective patients. It's such a contrast to the dull atmosphere in the waiting room. After following him down a few more halls we finally stop in front of a large glass door. There are curtains on the inside so it's not possible to see what's inside the room. I walk in and the doctor closes the door behind me. I push the curtain aside to step in and slide it closed again. I turn around and walk over to the bed area. Lelouch is laying there so innocently. His expression no longer one of pain. Instead he looks serene, and I can't help but stare. God Lelouch, you look so…beautiful. If I didn't know you better I'd think you were incapable of doing harm.

I walk over to one of the chairs next to the wall and pull it up next to the bed. These chairs are considerably much comfier than the other ones. I can easily sleep in this one. I look up at Lelouch, his arms are bound up in casts. It seems like he broke them both…and his right leg too. I lean over and gently run my hand across the cast on his leg. I wonder how much pain you felt…How did this happen, Lulu? His torso is also covered in bandages. I can see bruises where his skin is visible. There are bruises and cuts along his face as well. He must've hit the ground really hard. Possibly scraped himself against something.

I sigh and look at him sadly. "Lelouch, I'm sorry. I know you wanted to meet…I should've read your note as soon as I received it. You're my best friend…you should take priority over things."

I gently picked up his hand, and intertwined our fingers. It's ok now. I've got you Lelouch. I don't know if you're really sorry about what you've done, or if you even care about what you did to Euphie, but I know she wouldn't want me to hate you for it. No, she doesn't like hatred. She wanted peace. Maybe you can still help me achieve that peace, but you're going to have to do it my way. I caress his hand I'm holding with my thumb and grin. Yes…we'll do things _my_ way this time.

* * *

I yawn and pick my head up. I look around and notice I'm in a hospital room. The strong scent of medicine hits me, and I remember what happened yesterday. Everything refreshes itself in my memory and I glance down at Lelouch. I see I'm still holding onto his hand. Smiling I hold on to it tighter and look around the room again. No one else is here, and it doesn't look like anyone's came in. With my free hand I brush his bangs to the side and trace the outline of his face. How can someone who's committed so many evils in this world look so innocent?

Oh, Lulu…how am I going to correct you? I promise to stay with you until you get better, hopefully the other's won't need me for awhile. It's a good thing they gave me a break. Although it's short…I hope you wake up before I have to return. I don't know what kind of excuse I can come up with to stay. I don't want to put your life in jeopardy by risking any of them finding out that you're really Zero. Only a small group knows the truth and fortunately not all of the knights were told. In fact, I think Bismarck, the Knight of One, is the only one who knows. Still it's better to be safe than sorry, right? I get up and head out to grab something to eat.

* * *

It's been a week. I've been here for a week and still Lelouch hasn't shown signs of waking up. Nurses come in occasionally to check up on him and change his bandages. Physically he seems to be getting better, but mentally…

I clasp his hands and look at him pleadingly. "Lelouch, please get better. Please wake up. Would you do that for me?" No, it's stupid of me to ask. Of course he wouldn't wake up for me…if anything this ordeal will make him think our bond is broken. Are you mad at me Lelouch? Is that why you did this to yourself? To test our friendship? As quickly as they came I forced those thoughts out of my head. Nothing is confirmed. Lelouch could've been pushed, and if that's the case I swear I'll murder the bastard who did this myself. I wonder what happened to you…

"Nunnally wants to see you too. She misses you a lot. If not for me, would you wake up for her sake?" I say hopeful, but he stays as he is. Completely unresponsive. The only signs of life he's showing is the constant rise and drop of his chest. My smile falters and I sigh tiredly. It's no use. My questions fall on deaf ears. Lelouch can't hear me, this is like talking to a wall.

'This is all because of his Geass!' I think angrily. If he didn't have that stupid curse he'd be fine right now. None of this would've happened. Euphemia would still be alive…and Lelouch would still be safely back at Ashford Academy. Milly would probably have him involved in a silly game for her amusement, but at least he'd he safe.

"Damn that Geass! I wish you'd never received it. Nothing, absolutely nothing good has come from you obtaining it!" I yell vehemently.

"How foolish. And here I thought you actually cared for dear old Lulu, guess I was wrong about you" I heard a monotone voice say from behind me.

I spun around and saw the green haired witch walk by me. I heard the door behind us click shut. When did she come in? How could I not have noticed?

C.C. walked to the side opposite where I was at and stared intently at Lelouch. I noticed she was wearing normal clothes. A regular strapless violet shirt and a short black skirt with a brown belt. She had on a pair of light yellow sunglass on top of her head. I guess it would look suspicious of her if she had walked right in here wearing her Black Knights uniform. After a few more minutes I decided I'd question her motives for coming.

"What the hell are you doing here witch, and what do you mean by that? I do care about him," I hissed and glared at her. This woman is the cause of everything. Why the hell would she show up now, hasn't she caused enough trouble?

"If you cared about him you would be thanking me" she said calmly. Her amber eyes looked up and we locked gazes. She stood straight and brushed her hair behind her shoulder. "The gift I gave him, his Geass, did you know it saved his life? If it weren't for me he would be buried in the Shinjuku ghetto right now."

"What? The Shinjuku ghetto?" Memories flooded me and I remembered our faithful meeting. I had mistaken her for poison gas. Of course, that's where I re-met Lelouch too! I was so happy to see him again after all those years…

"Yes. I gave him the option and he accepted" she continued. "I protected him from those soldiers, and I got shot in the head. They didn't relent though. Those soldiers were going to murder Lelouch, just like they did all those innocent Japanese people. They were going to kill him even though he was Britannian like them. He was scared, I offered a gift and he accepted. You should be glad he got out of that mess, or would you have liked it better if he had died right then and there?" she said. There was a curious gleam in her eye, but other than that she looked completely uninterested.

"No! Why would I want Lelouch to die? Don't be stupid!" I yelled. Did that Geass really save him? This woman completely annoys me. How could Lelouch stand her?

"Then?" she said expectantly. "Don't blame the Geass, it's harmless in all of this."

"Are you kidding me? Harmless? That thing has caused Lelouch lots of problems. Even though it saved his life, it also destroyed him. Look at him now, just look. How does it feel to know you caused this?!" I sneered motioning towards Lelouch.

Her eyes steeled over and her jaw clenched. She didn't look at him, instead she glared coldly at me. "All I did was grant him a Geass. He made his own choices."

"No, I bet you influenced him."

"His choices were his own. I merely followed along. I gave him the power to achieve what he's always wanted. Revenge on the country and family that wronged him. Besides, he's never blamed me for giving him a Geass."

"If you hadn't given him the Geass he'd still be fine. He wouldn't be falling down the wrong path." I stated, annoyed that she wouldn't just admit she was responsible for this.

"People never change Suzaku…situations do. If he made those choices he'd make them again given the chance. If I didn't form the pact with him he would've died, or maybe he would've found another way. Lelouch is really clever like that. You should know better than anyone that his heart was poisoned since the day his father abandoned him and Nunnally at your estate. One way or another you two were bound to clash. Your ideals are the same, but your methods are radically different" she finished sharply.

How much did she know? Did Lelouch tell her about his past? Well I guess he had to have, or how could she have known this much. Then a thought suddenly crossed my mind. How did she know he was here, and why did she come?

"Why are you here C.C.?" I asked, although my tone made it sound more like a command.

"My reason's for being here are none of your concern."

"If it involves Lelouch then it is my business, so either you tell me or I'll have to force it out of you" I said disdainfully.

Her eyes widened a bit in shock, but she quickly masked it with indifference. "I didn't think you had the audacity to demand anything from me Suzaku. I have to say, I'm not impressed. I'll go ahead and tell you anyways though if it will shut you up. Lelouch is my accomplice, we're bound together by our contract. He still hasn't paid me his debt for the gift I so graciously bestowed upon him, so I'm here to collect. It doesn't matter where he is, I will always find him. I will make sure he holds his end of the bargain."

"He has to hold his end of the agreement? What exactly is the terms of your agreement?" I ask, knowing I'm overstepping my boundaries because this really is none of my business but I can't help it. I want to know everything about Lulu so I can help him get rid of this immortal witch.

She regards me with a hateful look in her eyes and her hands on the bed tighten around the bed sheets in frustration. "Kururugi, stay out of this. This is between me and Lelouch, that's it!" she spits out. This is probably the most emotion I've ever seen her display.

I'm about to pursue this further, but I hear a soft whimper. Hope fills me and I look down at Lelouch. His face is twisted in pain and he's shaking a little. I'm shocked and relieved. I shake him lightly. I think he might be having a nightmare, so I try to wake him up. C.C. just stares there looking at him. Her expression unreadable, but I believe she's relieved.

"He must be in really deep sleep" I hear C.C. murmur to herself.

"…don't go, please…I can't have you leave me too…" he whispers brokenly.

"Lelouch…it's just a dream" I say trying to soothe him.

"Rolo, you're all I have left….please, please don't go…without you, I-I'm nothing…I'm no one…" his voice is laced with panic. A few tears stream down the side of his face.

I tense when I hear him say Rolo's name. Isn't that the dead assassin? Why would he call out to him? I feel my heart breaking. Is this what Lelouch thinks? That no one cares…

I wipe the tears from his eyes and climb into the bed with him. It's big enough to hold us both easily. I can't stand seeing him like this. I wrap my arms around his waist and gently pull him towards me. I hold him close, he's the only one I would do this for. He surprises me by snuggling into me and holding on tightly. It's almost painful, as if he thinks I'll disappear when he lets go.

"Don't worry Lulu, I'm not going anywhere," I whisper comfortingly and hope he calms down.

He sighs relieved and holds on tighter if possible. "Thank you, Rolo. I don't know what I'd do if you left…promise me, promise you'll never leave me…" he says sadly, his voice getting weaker. His brow is knitted in worry and soon after he says that, his body relaxes against mine. I look down and see he's fallen back into regular sleep.

C.C. is looking at him no longer masking her concern.

I'm hurt. His words confused me. Why was Rolo so important to him? I felt anger. Is this how jealousy feels? Lelouch is _my_ friend, I don't think I should have to share him with anyone else.

"Look Suzaku" C.C. starts. "I'm not here to gain friends or enemies, but I care about him okay? So I'm going to warn you, I don't know why you're here, but if you plan on hurting him I suggest you back off now or you will get hurt."

"Is that a threat?" I ask tiredly. There's no way I plan on hurting him, but this woman I couldn't care less about. I'll gladly get rid of her.

"No, it's a promise, Suzaku. You have my word." The coldness of her tone doesn't affect me. If she thinks she can best me I'll gladly accept her challenge. Should she try and stand in my way, I won't guarantee a fair fight.

* * *

**Author's note: **I hope you guys like this chapter. Also I really hope there's no mistakes. I'll fix any if I see them later. Review if you have the time please~

**Edited:** Ah, sorry I made a mistake. It wasn't really grammatical, more like wrong context. Instead of being taken to an intensive care unit, he was suppose to be taken to an emergency room. Sorry for the inconvenience, don't know if it bugged any of you. Thanks for pointing it out, mmm, I'm not sure if you'd like being named so I'll keep it to myself.

Thanks for reading :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I do **not** own Code Geass or anything, but that's a good thing~

**Warnings: **Minor Cursing?

So, I didn't catch many errors in the last one, hopefully that means I'm improving. :D

I'm still going to warn you though, I'm not perfect so mistakes can pop up. I'll try to fix them if I catch any of them later.

Thank you guys so much for your wonderful reviews~

They encourage me to keep writing. Also, I'm going to switch between P.O.V.'s in this one. Anyways though, I don't want to waste too much of your time.

On with the show~

* * *

Suzaku's P.O.V.

Even when I wasn't looking at her, I could tell C.C. was watching me like a hawk. She didn't trust me with Lelouch, and I can't blame her. It's understandable. I didn't trust him with her either. He's too valuable for me to leave in her care. She caused his problems after all. I don't care how many times she claims her innocence on this matter. If she didn't exist, Lulu wouldn't be laying here in this hospital bed.

I held Lelouch's sleeping form closer to me. He looks so peaceful now. His even breathing relaxed me and I found myself drifting into sleep. There's no way in hell I'm going to let that bitch ruin you again. You can count on me Lulu.

* * *

C.C.'s P.O.V.

I sigh tiredly and look at Lelouch. God Lulu, seeing you like this…I don't know if I feel more jealous than depressed.

Suzaku pulled Lelouch closer to him and started at him intently. Soon I saw him nodding off.

How foolish. They're both fools in their own way though I suppose.

Suzaku…why are you so annoying? I glare in his direction. There's no way I'm going to allow him the pleasure of hurting Lelouch, intentionally or otherwise. He's my accomplice in this, and we're in this together. For the good and the bad.

Still…maybe I can use Suzaku to my advantage. I need to test how far he's willing to go first, but if he checks out…this should be interesting. Yes, if I'm careful maybe…but first I have to feign interest in his well being. Otherwise it's highly unlikely he'll hear me out, or help me out.

Sliding off the chair I had slept in, I walked closer to bed where Lelouch and Suzaku lay. Suzaku had pulled Lelouch onto his lap, and Lulu was snuggled into him. I reach over and tug on Lelouch's arm, his body doesn't move though. Suzaku has him in a tight hold. The poor boy probably thinks Suzaku is his pillow…and that's a good thing. This is how he normally sleeps, maybe he's waking up soon? If that's the case I have to do this quickly, but first, it wouldn't hurt to grab a bite to eat right?

The door clicks open and I hear someone push the curtain aside. I turn my head and see one of Lelouch's nurses walk in. I slip into my caring façade and smile at the woman.

She looks up and gasps. I see a dark blush on her cheeks and I can't help but laugh lightly.

"Umm, I came to change his bandages, but…" she turns and looks at me "uh, are they…?"

"Boyfriends?" I snort. "He wishes, but they do look cute together don't they?" I comment jokingly.

The nurse looks like she's about to say something, but blushes and looks down shyly.

I can't help but laugh at this. The woman looks to be enjoying this. Who would've guessed?

"Should I try to…umm…separate them?" she asks unsurely after a brief moment of silence.

"No. Leave them, once the patient's friend wakes up I'll ask him to get off, alright? Suzaku's a heavy sleeper anyways." I finish.

I don't really know if that's true, but I tried to pull Lelouch away from him and that didn't work. So it's a safe assumption.

She smiles at me and sigh's in relief. "Who am I to tear apart two lovers right?" she awkwardly says and walks out with the bandages she'd brought in.

Lovers? I guess she didn't believe me just now, but glancing at them again…I can see why. The way Suzaku's holding him makes me think he reciprocates Lulu's feelings.

Damn, if that's the case...no it's impossible. Suzaku has to hate him, if not I guess I'll have to remind him of everything our dear little Lulu's done. I have to convince Suzaku to be on my side. Incase Lelouch doesn't want to accept my code and I can't convince him…Suzaku will have to do it for me.

I have good reasoning. Lelouch just tried to kill himself. I don't know why he did it, but I don't think he'll want to accept my code that makes him live forever. I'll have to use every card at my disposal if I want to be rid of this curse. I'm sorry Lelouch, but I don't want to live anymore, and you promised to help me.

If Suzaku hates Lelouch I can convince him to help me get Lulu to accept my code, because it's the worse form of punishment Lulu can get. That should work right? I suppose I'll let him get closure with Lelouch as well, that's probably what he's here for anyways.

I can't explain Suzaku's sudden interest in my accomplice. I suppose it's his near death experience. Mortals are so fragile, and easily swayed. If Lulu was fine, would Suzaku still be with him right now? I glare at Suzaku angrily. If he's here to toy with Lelouch's feelings I'll dispose of him after he's convinced Lulu. I can't stand people who don't show their true colors. The worst kind of evil is the one that hides behind a kind face, because it's impossible to see it coming. My geass taught me a lot about fake emotion. Now I can't stand it. Lelouch is the first person to truly care for me. He's the first friend I've made in awhile. I don't like having to do this to him, befriending him wasn't my original intention, but I have to make sure he takes my code. I can't bare this eternal life any longer.

If Lelouch decided to be selfish and chicken out on our deal by trying to kill himself, then I reserve the right to hold him to his promise.

I glance at the two sleeping boys one last time, before I head out of the room. I can't keep thinking about this on an empty stomach. I guess I'll see if they have any pizza downstairs.

* * *

As soon as I push the double doors open the scent of fresh pizza fills my senses and I smile warmly. I'm glad they have some, yesterday I had to wait for three hours only to have them tell me they ran out of materials. I guess they ran out, because it was already kind of late when I came in.

I walk over and stand in line. The wait isn't long, and soon I'm sitting down enjoying a freshly baked slice of pepperoni pizza. It's not as good as Pizza Hut, but it's not bad.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and calmly glance over at the person beside me. It's Lelouch's doctor. Slipping back into my persona I smile kindly up at the doctor.

"Hello Doctor, how are you this fine morning" I say feigning interest in his day.

"C.C. I'm glad to have caught you here. We're running the tests on your little brother Lelouch again. I want to make sure our results are 100% positive" he says respectfully.

I finish my slice and nod thankfully at him. "I'm glad doctor. I'm terribly worried about him…what if he doesn't wake up again?" I say easily falling into the role of the big protective sister I lied about being when I first came here. It was the easiest thing I could come up with to gain access to Lulu, and it worked like a charm.

"Don't worry your pretty little head C.C., your brother could wake up any day now" the doctor says encouragingly.

"Oh doctor it's okay. You don't have to lie. I know the possibilities fate may bring him."

"C.C…that Japanese boy hasn't tried anything bad has he? Is he misbehaving?" the doctor inquires worriedly.

This is my chance. "Well……no I couldn't.." I start with uncertainty in my voice. I say just enough to stir the doctor up.

"What has he done?" the doctor demands shortly.

And just like that I have him in the palm of my hand. "Suzaku…he's-he's touching Lelouch…even though Lulu is in a very fragile state and could get injured…"

As quickly as those words leave my mouth he stands up angrily and storms out in the direction of the Lelouch's room.

I laugh lightly and grab my other slice of pizza before I head off after him. Now that phase one of my plan is complete, it's time to start phase two.

* * *

When I reach the room I can already hear Suzaku and the doctor arguing. I walk in and pause. The doctor's trying to pull Suzaku away from Lelouch, but Suzaku's doesn't look like he's going to let go anytime soon. He's sitting up, just glaring at the doctor.

If looks could kill, Suzaku would surely brutally murder the doctor…I better step in.

"Uh.." I begin about to intervene.

"Get the hell away from him filthy Eleven" the doctor yells vehemently.

"No, leave us, I'm not going anywhere" Suzaku retorts.

"Doctor, it's ok, please let him go" I say pleadingly and Suzaku shoots me a confused and weary look.

"C.C. this barbarian could end up hurting him, don't you care about your brother's health?" the doctor asks looking at me concerned.

Suzaku's look darkens and he glares at me.

"I do, but I know he won't hurt him. Suzaku is Lulu's best friend." I say trying to appease the doctor.

He looks angry, but he lets go of Suzaku. "You're lucky she's vouching for you young man. What the hell are you doing with him. Don't you see that he's still injured?" the doctor asks coldly.

"I do" Suzaku responds defensively. "Lelouch was crying, I was only trying to make him feel better, and it clearly worked, look." He held up his arms and showed that Lelouch was also holding onto him.

The doctor sighed in frustration. "That's fine Kururugi, but I'm going to have to ask you once again to remove yourself."

Suzaku was about to respond but I cut him off. "Suzaku, the nurses need to change his bandages and administer more medicine. What would happen if his anesthesia wore off?"

He looks worried and pulls Lelouch off of him. Lelouch makes a noise and the doctor looks at him surprised.

"He-he's recovering…that's wonderful!" he says relieved.

"Is this normal?" I ask.

"Yes, it appears he's gaining back some consciousness. His noise and the way he was holding that Eleven prove it."

Suzaku glares at the doctor, but still looks relieved from his spot next to Lelouch.

"I have to go write this down, tell me if he does anything else."

The doctor hurriedly walks out of the room, and as soon as the door closed behind him Suzaku turned to me angrily.

He was about to say something, but his phone started ringing.

"Dammit!" He hissed and answered.

"Hello?"

"Cecile I can't go right now, tell Lloyd I'm on break and I'm busy right now. Also, would it be alright if I took another week off…?"

"Really? Thanks…I'm sorry I can't return yet this is really important…alright, I'll see you later, bye."

I wonder what that was all about? I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask. He had walked off to the corner of the room when he answered the call.

"Everything alright?" I ask indifferently.

* * *

Suzaku's P.O.V.

"What the hell did you tell the doctor C.C.?" I spit out disdainfully.

"Hmm? What are you talking about?"

"His sister? You're definitely not one of Lelouch's sisters."

"You should be thanking me. He was going to call security and have you thrown out" she responded calmly walking over to Lelouch's other side.

"You lied to the doctor. You aren't his sister." I responded also walking back to his side.

"So? It got me in here didn't it? You can't argue with results Suzaku, you would've done the same anyways."

What's she trying to get at? Why did she defend me? If I annoy her as much as she implies why would she stick up for me?

"Why didn't you let him throw me out? Isn't that what you want?"

She laughed and amusement flickered through her amber eyes. "Suzaku, when did I say I didn't want you here?"

"You tried to threaten me, although you denied it that's what it was."

"Hmm, let me ask you something Suzaku, what do you plan to do once Lelouch wakes up?"

"I'm going to demand an explanation for his current situation. Why? What about you witch? Why do you care about Lulu so much?" What's she trying to get at? Lelouch is my friend, why would I leave him in the jaws of the beast?

"Don't get me wrong Suzaku, you were right, I couldn't care less about you. Lelouch is the only true friend I've made though, and I plan on defending him from you no matter what cost. I do however need your help with something, I suppose this is the only harm I'll make an exception for."

"And what's that?"

"I want you to convince him to accept my code. It will make him immortal, and make me mortal. If you hate his as much as I think you do, you'll understand that this is the worst punishment he could possibly ever receive."

I stare at her in disbelief. This _is_ the worst punishment, but a code to make Lelouch immortal? If Lulu already thinks he's god why would she need my help to convince him? Surely he'd agree without a second thought. This is madness, I have to talk him out of this!

I glare at her defiantly. "Hell no."

Her eyes widen, she must've thought I'd actually accept her proposition.

"I thought you hated him" she says coldly.

"No C.C., I don't hate him, I only hate what he's done. I know deep down he's still the considerate guy I befriended all those years ago."

"He killed Euphemia, what would she think of you if she saw her own knight wasn't defending her?!" she yelled displeased.

"Euphie isn't like that. She would probably be disappointed in me if I _did _kill her brother" I laughed mirthlessly. Euphie would want me to forgive him…

"Why do you want to get rid of your code C.C.? And why would you want to give it to Lelouch if you avidly advocate your friendship for him and claim the code is a curse? Why do _you_ want to punish him? Has he wronged you?"

"Living forever _is _a curse. He promised me he would help me get rid of it. You know our agreement? It's that I want to die. He has to help me die in order to fulfill it, and this is the only way."

I look at her surprised. She wants to die? I wouldn't mind killing her…but I don't want Lelouch to accept the code. Living forever…that's something no one should be capable of.

"How can you claim to be his friend and want to throw the code on him?" I ask in disbelief.

"Look, he'll get use to it over time. He hasn't minded before, I think he already knows this is what I expect of him. After this incident I'm not sure if he'll still be willing to help me though."

"And he shouldn't! Do you want to condemn him to an eternal life of solitude? What's he going to do once everyone he knows dies?"

"He could always offer a geass to someone else, and then give them immortality…"

Is she seriously implying he curse someone else?! This is ridiculous!

A rustling interrupts my thoughts. We both look down to see Lelouch stirring.

I hold my breath in anticipation. Is he going to wake up?

* * *

This chapter was a little slower than the others since I was offering insight to C.C.'s purpose, so I'm going to add a tiny excerpt from Chapter 5 (which isn't anywhere near finished but I hope you enjoy non the less)

-----Lelouch Nightmare Sequence-----

It's really cold here…Where am I?

I open my eyes slowly and look around, but I can't see anything. My surroundings are pitch black. It's pure darkness…I don't fear the dark or anything, but something about this place is unsettling.

There's whispering and I turn to where it's at. A voice whispers next to my ear, and I swing my arm in the direction it came from fully intent on making some kind of contact with the source, but I don't hit anything…

What am I doing here…? What is this place?! I can't help the panic that engulfs me. I hate not being in control.

"Who's there?!" I yell.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So I totally just finished writing this instead of finishing my homework, but that's fine I'm almost done with my assignments. I hope you guys like this chapter, although I think this might be a little shorter than normal. Wow, I hope I don't write too much normally. Lelouch should be waking up soon. His P.O.V. next chapter. It's been awhile he's had a say in all this, I should venture to his end of the spectrum.

Review if you have time please~

Thank you for reading :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I do **not** own Code Geass nor will I ever

**Warnings: **None really

I'm sorry for not updating this sooner. I especially want to apologize to Kagi, since I told you this would be soon. I did have lots of homework I had a to take care of though =/

So the last chapter was pretty much just insight on C.C.'s business there. Pretty slow, but I found it necessary.

I could misspell some stuff, but I will correct any mistakes if I find them later. Anyways this will be in Lelouch's P.O.V. Thanks again for reviewing you guys~

Enjoy the show

* * *

-----Lelouch's dream state-----

It's really cold here…Where am I?

I open my eyes slowly and look around, but I can't see anything. My surroundings are pitch black. It's pure darkness…I don't fear the dark or anything, but something about this place is unsettling.

Maybe I…maybe I'm finally dead…

That thought makes me smile. Finally I won't have to be alone anymore. It's depressing that no one will mourn my departure, but it's for the best. Somehow I guess I never truly belonged.

There's whispering and I turn to where it's at. A voice whispers next to my ear, and I swing my arm in the direction it came from fully intent on making some kind of contact with it, but I don't hit anything…

What am I doing here…? What is this place?! I can't help the panic that engulfs me. I hate not being in control.

If I did die…where exactly am I? A chill runs down my spine. I don't know where I am…and apparently I'm not alone.

"Who's there?!" I yell.

Light laughter fills the abyss. I hear several voices, but there are none that I recognize. Suddenly light fills my vision. I shield my eyes momentarily and the voices stop.

What the hell is this? Then without warning the next sound I hear is a gunshot, followed by a very familiar voice.

"Why? Lelouch." I hear Euphemia say. Looking up I realize what this is, I see Euphemia fall. The same way this scene always repeats itself in my dreams…

"Goodbye Euphie." It's my voice I hear this time.

I reach out at the scene in front of me, but the deed is done. Once again I couldn't stop myself…

Did Euphemia really have to die? I should have spared her life…Suzaku would've wanted that…

I should've tried to save her!

"Lelouch…you can't change the past. Beating yourself up for it won't do you any good" I hear Euphemia's voice say. I feel a small warm hand gently grasp my shoulder.

Startled I turn my head around to see if what I heard was right, and to my pleasant surprise I see that it really is Euphie. She looks as perfect as she always had, before the incident.

She smiles up at me, and I feel happy. It's been awhile since anyone's said anything to cheer me up…

As if understanding my troubled thoughts, she squeezes my shoulder reassuringly.

"I'm sorry" she says simply. Her smile falters, and she looks at me sadly.

"Sorry…? You have nothing to apologize for, it's me who should be sorry. I-"

"No Lelouch. You're not the only one who made mistakes. I should've taken your view into consideration" she looks away, and laughs lightly. "I've always been a bit naïve haven't I? You and Schneizel have always been the smart ones. I-I should have expected you to have a plan. It's not like you to be unprepared. It's just…I always see everyone taking charge…I wanted to help and make a difference for once. I got tired of sitting on the sidelines, but I'm sorry. My clumsy meddling only complicated things."

"Euphie…please don't think like that. You had a great idea. I believe it would've succeeded if I hadn't-"

"Stop it Lelouch! I knew how dangerous the situation was before we went into the room. I know you've changed, but I _know_ you're not evil. You're a good person. I know you're a good person."

I was surprised to see her crying. Why would she shed tears for the man that killed her? Why would she cry for an imperfect soul like mine? I don't deserve her forgiveness…

Euphemia let the hand she had resting on my shoulder drop. Her gaze fell to the floor, and I turn to look at her better.

"…please don't. Please don't kill yourself Lelouch…"

"Euphie. Death is what I deserve. I killed you, and I've led to the death of thousands in my conquest for peace. Even death seems like a light punishment."

"No! How can you say that? Death isn't something you should control. If this is for me then please…please stay alive! It pains me to see you so hurt. I never wished to cause anyone any harm…"

Her quiet sobs filled the area. We were still in the bloody stadium of the massacre. This scene haunts me everyday. It's a reminder of the biggest mistake I've ever made.

So even in death she remains the same kind loving person. God, what did I do? I ruined her life, I even tarnished her name. No one even knows the real Euphemia they just remember "Princess Massacre."

"I wanted to rebuild with you" I manage to say.

"It's too late for that, but you can always take a new approach. You c-" She looked up at me, and her eyes widened at something behind me.

Before I could turn and see what it was, cold arms embrace me from behind.

"Welcome back brother" a sweet voice speaks from behind me. I instantly recognize it as Rolo.

I turn my head to the side and see Rolo smiling up at me lovingly. I sigh and close my eyes. It's so nice to relax against him. He will always have my back, without a doubt.

"I've missed you" he whispers.

God, how I've missed him too…please don't let this be an illusion. Please be real.

"You can't do this!" my sister cries out angrily.

I open my eyes, and stare at Euphemia surprised. She moved away from me a little. Why is she upset?

I feel Rolo let go of my waist, and before I can blink, he's brushing past me. He swiftly pulls out a hidden knife, and rushes towards a horror stricken Euphemia.

"Stay out of this!" he yells out furiously. "You're going to ruin everything!"

I manage to get a hold of myself, and miraculously make it to Euphemia before he does. I embrace her tightly, trying to shield her from the impact. I have to protect her!

"Rolo!" I muster, trying to sound as brave as I can.

"Brother…?"

I open my eyes when I don't feel the impact of his blade, and turn to see him staring at me in wonder.

"Why are you defending her?" he asks softly. He notices my discomfort and quickly puts his knife away.

"How can you even think about hurting her? She-she's my sister! I can't watch her die again…I won't let you kill her!"

His face hardens and he yanks me away from her. Rolo places his arms around my neck possessively, and turns his head to face Euphemia.

"Why protect this woman? Do you even know what she's trying to do, Lelouch?"

"Rolo, there's no excuse for-"

"She's trying to tear us apart!" He glares at her maliciously, and I see her shaking in fear.

"No…Rolo, no one's trying to do that! _No one _can separate us…"

"Lelouch doesn't belong here! Please let him go!"

"Euphie…" I gasp lightly. She _is_ trying to separate us, but why?! This…this is the happiest I've been in awhile. Things are finally starting to look up since the Black Knights sold me out.

"I'm sorry Lelouch" she cries out sadly. "but you don't belong here. You have to go back."

I hold on to Rolo's waist, and bury my face in the crook of his neck. His scent is relaxing…is Euphie really trying to take my slice of happiness away? Why would she do that?

"Lelouch belongs with me. He's staying here."

Rolo may be younger and shorter than me, but it still amazes me that he can be and sound so powerful. His serious nature has always been…appealing. It's nice having someone around that doesn't expect much from you.

"How can you claim to love him when you _know_ he's better off somewhere else? It's not his time" Euphie spoke back strongly. I guess she regained her confidence.

"No one will ever love him as much as I do."

"That's not love, it's obsession! You don't love him. Love is free, not selfish. You want to own him!"

"How dare you, Euphemia?! You know Lelouch wants to be here with me. Why do you insist on making him suffer?" Rolo wanted to murder Euphemia, that much was obvious. The tension in the air hung thick.

I looked up, and turned to Euphie. She was glaring back at Rolo. Her eyes showed fierce determination.

"It's not his time! There are people that will miss him." Euphie looked frustrated, and her last words caught my attention.

People will miss me? No one will. She probably doesn't know how much everyone hates me…

Rolo laughed, and looked at my sister condescendingly.

"Who's going to miss him exactly? No one appreciates him, he needs to stay here with me. Only I can give him everything he needs."

"Euphie…I can't go back." I say sadly.

"I'm sorry Lelouch…but you don't belong in the in between. You have to go back to the others that need you. Think about Nunnally. She loves you dearly. If anything were to happen to you, I'm sure Suzaku would miss you too."

"Nunnally and Suzaku? They both hate me. Nunnally will probably talk to me out of obligation if I asked…but Suzaku? He wouldn't come…even if I was dying." I know I'm crying, but I really couldn't care less. Suzuku's proved time and time again that he wants nothing to do with me anymore. I don't know if I should be glad or not that he didn't come. After all, now I get to be with Rolo, and with him I don't have to settle for being just friends…

I was surprised to hear Euphemia laugh. It was in an actual humorous tone.

"Lelouch…you have _no_ idea. They really do care for you, trust me." She smiled up at me, the warmth of her smile was almost contagious. If only I could believe her.

"Euphie…what a naïve thing to say. If they did want to see me it would be a rather somber meeting."

"They don't care about him. Besides, Lelouch doesn't need them anyways. Not when he has me" Rolo replied back smoothly.

"Lulu, you have to go back for their sake as well as yours."

"They don't miss me Euphie…"

"They do" she pleaded. "Even if they haven't realized it…I'm sorry, but it's time. Please, take care of yourself this time. It's not too late to fix things."

Before I could fully process the gravity of what she'd said, everything started disappearing. I was sinking into the abyss. Rolo and Euphemia were gone. Perhaps they too had abandoned me…

It was frightening. Why did they go? Euphie didn't want to stay with me…but Rolo…

"Rolo! Don't leave…please don't go, please…I can't have you leave me too…"

The sadness is eating away at my heart. I don't want to be alone anymore. I'd rather be dead. There's nothing I fear more than being forgotten, but for the most part…that's already happened.

"Rolo, you're all I have left….please, please don't go…without you, I-I'm nothing…I'm no one…"

Without him…I really am no one. Can I exist in a world where I go unnoticed? I remember once Suzaku said my very existence was a mistake…I didn't want to believe him at the time, but guess he really was right.

I am a mistake.

I feel myself being pulled into a warm embrace. I knew Rolo would come back for me…I smile and close my eyes. I don't want him to disappear again, so I hold onto him tightly. He's so warm…I can't help but snuggle into him.

"Don't worry Lulu, I'm not going anywhere," I hear him whisper comfortingly.

It's nice to have him around…but this feels different.

"Thank you, Rolo. I don't know what I'd do if you left…promise me, promise you'll never leave me…"

Never again.

I'm drifting off to a quiet sleep. We'll stay together forever…just us. I notice some differences in him, but I'll worry about that later.

* * *

I ache all over. Why does my body hurt so much? Did I get injured? I immediately notice the lack of body warmth, and I open my eyes and try to see where I am.

God. Everything hurts. I feel like I broke something. The first thing I see is white. I'm in a room with white walls, and I'm in a hospital bed? How am I in a hospital? Two figures are looming over me. It takes me awhile to focus, but once I do I realize this has to be an illusion.

"Lelouch…" Suzaku whispers lowly from my side.

I hear C.C. let out a sigh of relief on the side opposite where Suzaku is.

Suzaku and C.C.? Why are they here?…Where's Rolo?

Suzaku's emerald eyes shine down at me happily, and he smiles. It's been awhile since I've seen his smile. He hugs me tightly, and starts saying something. C.C. starts talking as well, but I don't pay them much attention. Wouldn't it be wonderful if this was real? This is an illusion though. A cruel joke. Neither of them actually cares about me.

"Where's Rolo?" I manage to say, but I sound weak. Almost as if I hadn't used my voice in awhile.

I feel Suzaku stiffen against me.

This has to be a dream, but why doesn't it feel like one?

'…I'm sorry, but it's time.'

Euphemia's words rang in my head, and reality came crashing down. I remembered everything that happened. The letter I sent, how long I'd waited, and the jump.

How am I still alive? This must be why Rolo's left me. I'm still alive. Why did I fail? Suzaku and C.C. don't care. If they're here they must have some type of motive. It can't be because they actually care.

"I'm a failure. I can't even succeed in killing myself!" I cried out in frustration.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Once again, I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever D: I was displeased with the last chapter, hopefully this one's better. I wanted Euphemia to try and cheer Lelouch up a little, since he was really depressed in the first chapter. Although she kind of went against his will. Oh well. Euphie knows best. I'll try to update sooner next time.

**Side Note: **In case any of you are reading Vengeance is Sweet, and are wondering about the next update, know that I'm working on it. I will be updating that soon. Either this week, or next week.

Anyways I hope you liked this. Next chapter will most likely be about Lelouch's deal with C.C. It should be interesting now that Lelouch has woken up.

Review if you have time~

Thank you for reading :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I do **not** own Code Geass, and that suits me perfectly.

**Warnings: **Strong Language

Ah, I would've updated this last week, but my sister loves to hang around me. I find it impossible to write, or draw with someone looking over my shoulder D:

Anyways, I won't ramble much longer. Hopefully you guys will like this chapter. Your responses are very encouraging. Also I'd like to give a special thanks to **aristicats11**. You really boosted my ego :D

* * *

Suzaku's P.O.V.

I gazed down, and saw Lelouch wince in pain. His eyes slowly fluttered open, and he looks around the room, probably taking in his surroundings. I suppose it would be quite a shock to wake up in a hospital. Last time he was awake he was dying on a cold rainy sidewalk. Why did he wait outside in the storm? The idiot should've walked into one of the shops nearby. At least he's awake now though…

His expression changes to one of surprise when he looks at me and C.C.

"Lelouch…" I call to him softly. It's so good to see him awake again. I smile, and bring him close to me in a tight embrace.

C.C. sighs next to me. I'm still annoyed that she's stuck around. I _won't _let Lelouch accept her code. Even if it's what he wants.

"I'm so glad that you're finally awake…you don't know how long I've been waiting. You gave us quite the scare Lelouch…we thought you were a goner."

"Where's Rolo?" he asks weakly.

His words make me uneasy.

The assassin? He wants to know where the assassin is? Lelouch should know better than anyone that he's dead. Good riddance too. That kid was creepy. Why would Lelouch bring him up? Just how strong was the bond Lulu formed with his fake brother?

"I'm a failure. I can't even succeed in killing myself!" I hear him cry out in frustration.

What the hell? He really _was_ trying to commit suicide? Did I hear him right? I pull back a little so I can see his face. He looks so depressed, as if waking up wasn't something he wanted.

Did he really want to die? Why would he want to die?

Suddenly I realize that the boy in front of me is not the same Lelouch I knew from before. Obviously he'd changed, we both had, but _this _is something I'd never imagine. The Lelouch I had known as a kid was happy despite all the hardships life had thrown at him. He was independent, arrogant, and proud. This Lelouch on the other hand…I don't really know where to begin. Why would he give up? Sure, his goals are unrealistic, and he's going about this all wrong. None of his traits are that of a quitter though. He was never a quitter.

I don't know what to tell him. He's like a stranger to me. This boy before me hardly looks like the cold heartless killer I thought he'd become. It's as though his strong defense was broken. Has Lelouch always been this vulnerable deep down? Lelouch…you don't have to hide from me.

"Why couldn't I just die…" he says tiredly. Quiet sobs wreck his body, and he moves his hands to cover his face. "It should've been easy. It's not like anyone wants me alive anyway."

I gasp, and glance at C.C. Her expression is one of pain. I guess she didn't know about his intentions either.

"Lelouch…" I say calmly trying to get his attention. He seems to be in his own little world.

"Get the hell away from me!" he yells trying to shove me away from him, but I strengthen my hold on him.

"You're just an illusion. The real Suzaku wouldn't give a damn if I was dying or not. He wouldn't be here!" he cries loudly. The sadness in his voice is unbearable.

An illusion? Does he really find it that hard to believe I'd be here for him? I guess he thought our friendship was one-sided. I can't blame him I guess. If I were looking at it from afar I would have to say it's been awhile since I've done anything friendly. All I've done is set him up, and collect the rewards…Shit! How can he still consider me a friend? I haven't been friendly with him since I found out he was Zero. Lelouch has been sheltering the guise of Zero for awhile now…he didn't involve any of us perhaps to keep us safe? But then why did he kill Euphie? She's his sister, he had to have felt _something_.

If it wasn't for that stupid Geass of his! If he didn't have a Geass she wouldn't be dead. Did Euphie know about it? She willingly walked into a room alone with him. Did she love him that much that she'd be so reckless?

There was a time when I loved him that much too. When I'd blindly follow him into the jaws of the beast. What good would that do now though? He's going down the path of destruction. He discards people as soon as he's done with them. I almost lost it when I found out the truth behind the masked terrorist. How could he have hidden his mask from me so well? As his best friend I'm suppose to know everything about him. I'm suppose to show him the right way. I should _know _whether or not he's dying.

I look away from him ashamed. Instead of trying to fix him, I've been acting selfishly out of revenge. Is it even something Euphemia would've wanted?

It occurs to me just how close Lelouch was to joining Euphemia. The thought makes my heart clench uncomfortably.

He's right. A few weeks ago I probably wouldn't have came to his side…not right away anyways. It pains me just thinking about it. He was so close to death, if this had been two weeks ago I might've been slightly relieved to know Euphie's murderer was dead. Lelouch could be laying dead here, and I was really close to not knowing. If I hadn't of decided to show up when I did…

"We're real," C.C. spoke up monotonously. "and Rolo's been dead for awhile now."

Lelouch turns to face her. He's given up trying to remove me from his side. He must've realized it was futile.

The look on his face is exhausted. He looks at her sadly.

"And what brings you here witch? What do you want from me this time?"

She seemed to have a witty response ready, but frowned and kept quiet instead. It appears even she knows not to kick someone when they're down. Lelouch is vulnerable right now.

Something about the way he said, 'What do you want from me this time?' bothers me. It's like Lelouch expects people to only want him for what he can do for them, and not because he's good company.

My suspicions are confirmed with his next statement.

"I know you don't care for me witch," he pauses and glances at me. "You don't care either. If you guys want something from me I'm going to have to apologize in advance. I'm sorry, but I won't be able to fulfill your requests. You may as well leave…staying will only be a waste of time."

"Lelouch, you called me here. You wanted to tell me something right?" I'm not leaving you Lelouch. Especially not now.

His eyes widen in surprise, and he nods slowly. He turns to C.C. and asks her to step out for awhile. He must know C.C.'s not about to leave his side either.

She hesitates before slowly walking out of the room.

Lelouch watches her leave. After awhile he turns to face me, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Suzaku," he pauses to briefly to examine me. "I know you didn't come here to hear me out. Let's cut the pointless chatter, and head to the root of the matter. What is it you came to tell me? What do you want?"

"Huh? Lelouch I did come to hear you out…although there is also something I have to ask of you."

He laughs humorously. "I knew it. You-"

"Please listen to me before you say no!" I quickly add before he can interrupt again.

He regards me warily, but hesitantly nods nonetheless.

"If it's about the Black Knights I can't do anything about it. They're no longer under my command."

He sounds really down. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.

"No it's not about the Black Knights…they're going to be dealt with soon enough anyway," I finish offhandedly.

"What? What's going to happen to them?" Lelouch cries out alarmed. His wide eyes search mine for an answer.

I can't believe he's still worried about those terrorists. Even after they discarded him so easily. Does he feel responsible, because he's the one that started all of this?

"Lelouch, don't worry about them," I say calmly. "They get what's coming to them. It's good you're not with them anymore, even if it wasn't entirely by choice. Without you to lead them they're making reckless mistakes. Xingke and Ougi lead, but Xingke's dying. Ougi is probably a good leader, but he can't really compare to you in intelligence."

I wave my left hand to dismiss the topic. I don't want to think about those guys right now.

"Anyways Lelouch, that's not why I'm here. Nunnally wants to see you. She asked me if I could somehow reach you, so she can meet with you. She misses you Lelouch."

I missed you too, but I can't exactly tell you that can I? You'd probably get mad, and tell me to stop sounding gay again (it happened before in a sound episode), or you might not believe me. I guess you did send all those letters…I'm sorry I didn't come to your side sooner. How was I suppose to know you'd do something like this when not even C.C. knew? Just because I didn't come see you doesn't mean I didn't miss you Lulu…

He scoffed and turned away from me. "Really? Nunnally asked for me, and you actually came? I thought for sure you'd tell her how horrible I am, and convince her I'm not worth the effort…You were right Suzaku. My existence is a mistake," he finished weakly.

I winced. I did say that didn't I? Even if he did kill Euphie, I'm sure she wouldn't want her brother to feel this way.

What should I do Euphemia? How can I save Lelouch from himself?

"Lelouch, you _are _worth the effort. Nunnally's your sister, she's going to love you even if anyone tells her otherwise. I'm sorry for what I said that day. You're not a mistake. You've just made some bad choices."

He stays quiet for some time. Just looking out the window. For a second I wonder if he even heard me. I reach over and grasp his jaw lightly. I turn his face towards me, and he looks up at me blankly. His eyes, they look so…_dead._

"Lulu," I start, not really knowing how to put this. "Why do you want to die? You know that people care for you right? _I _care for you. If anything were to happen to you…I don't know what I'd do," my heart fills with dread at the mere thought of it. "I'm not going to lie. I thought I wanted to see you dead, but that's not it at all. It's your Geass I can't stand. Whatever you do, you can't accept C.C.'s code. You're my most important person Lelouch, and it will only make you suffer."

Before I truly realize what I'm doing, I've closed the distance between us. I let my lips descend onto his, and trap him in a deep kiss. I can't really explain it. The feeling to do it overwhelmed me. I can only hope this won't scare him. Truth be told I've harbored romantic feelings for Lelouch since way before I knew he was Zero. Perhaps that's why I couldn't bring myself to truly hate him despite everything he'd done, but it's not like he'd like me back anyways…

I'm suddenly reminded of the first time I ever told anyone. The only time actually. The day I confessed it to Euphemia.

'I approve!' she had responded elatedly, clasping her hands in joy. "But only if you really mean it, and promise to watch over him Suzaku. No matter what, because Lelouch means a lot to me.'

'Of course I'll watch over him Euphie, and I really mean it. I love Lulu, of that I'm certain.'

'I hope you're right…' she finished forlornly.

It was strange at the time, I'd never really realized why she had said that. Is it possible that she had already known Zero's identity? Did she want me to help Lelouch, even from back then? She had given it her best effort.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I'm pleasantly surprised to feel Lulu tentatively respond back. His movement is shy, but at least it's there. Maybe I have a chance with him after all?

Don't worry Euphie. I promised to watch over him, and it's time I do. I'm not letting C.C. ruin him anymore than she already has.

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**Author's Note: **I'm sorry guys, this one came out short. I'll try to make the next one long to make up for it x.x I meant to update sooner, but it's like I said before. People get in my way D: Also I've been playing a bit of Red Dead Redemption. That games awesome.

**Irrelevant side note: **Because I'm fearing the destruction of all my files, I uploaded a bunch of my favorite pictures I found while browsing the net onto my imageshack. If any of you want to browse around, I'll put the link on my profile. About 90% of them are of Code Geass. (I did not put my whole collection on there, but it's mainly just the really good ones.)

Anyways, review if you have time~

Thank you for reading :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I do **not** own Code Geass, but I suppose it's better that way.

**Warnings:** Intimacy, and may contain strong language

I'm sorry I haven't continued this in half a year... I finally got my new computer, and most of that time has been spent doing homework. I was trying to get into my angsty mood and wrote a one-shot as a result.

I'd like to thank you all again for your wonderful comments :D I only hope you can forgive the long wait.

* * *

Lelouch's P.O.V.

Is this real?

I leaned a little into the kiss he surprised me with, but I'm not sure if it's genuine. Does he really care about me...or is he only doing this because he thinks it will cheer me up?...Is what he said about Nunnally true?

I break the kiss, and push him back a little. My gaze shifts away from him, and down towards the bedsheets.

Why does this feel wrong? I love Suzaku, and I should be enjoying this...but I can't shake away the guilt. Wasn't he in love with Euphemia? Am I Euphie's replacement?

I chance a glance at him, and see that he's catching his breath. He smiles warmly, and leans towards me. He captures my lips for a second time today, but instead of kissing back I push him away from me.

"I love you," Suzaku whispers breathlessly. He gently embraces me, and I stiffen.

'H-he loves me? No, that's impossible. Euphie's the one he's always loved. The most I could ever hope for is being second best...'

"Stop it! I'm not Euphemia," I bite out angrily. It's not that I hate my sister. She's dear to me, but I can't stand the thought of being a mere replacement. Even if I...even if I've loved Suzaku for a long time, I don't want to be with him if his feelings aren't genuine. I don't think I could live with that knowledge.

"Euphemia?" Suzaku frowns and tilts his head a little. He's moved away a bit from the embrace to look at me. His eyebrows are knitted together in confusion. "What does this have to do with Euphie?"

I frown. Does Suzaku think this is some kind of joke?

"Lulu, I've never felt this way about Euphie before," he says calmly.

"Don't lie!" I hiss. "After I...," I frown, "after I killed her...you tried to kill me. I bet if I was the one shot that day you wouldn't of cared."

Suzaku's glaring at me. "Don't say things like that!" he shouts angrily. "Of course I'd care."

"You wouldn't. I bet you wished it were me instead of Euphemia. Wished I would've been the one killed from that accident...I wish it would've been me too if I know it'd end like this," I add the last bit more to myself, and turn to look away from him.

"No. God, I'd never wish for your death. Euphemia's death was terrible enough, but I can't even begin to imagine what it would've been like if you were the one killed," Suzaku spoke softly. I could fell his grip on me loosen as his previous anger seemed to be retreating.

I could feel his gaze on me. It was strange how I could almost imagine the intense look in his green eyes, and I sensed a bit of hesitation on his part as the silence stretched on between us. He placed a hand on my cheek, and I could feel him rubbing his thumb along my jaw. His touch was soft, and I could tell he was trying to comfort me. I turned to him slightly, and if I didn't know any better I'd swear his gaze was almost loving...

Why is he doing this to me?

I know I can't exactly expect him to know how I feel, but he's got to know what this is doing to me. It hurts. I can't just pretend we could actually be together. It's a silly ideal, and I know it's impossible for him to actually return my feelings. He's still hung up on Euphemia. It's wrong for me to even try to take her place. We'll never be anything alike. While her nature was passive, I've always taken the more aggressive route.

"I'm sorry," I murmur, and turn away from his touch.

"Lelouch?" I hear Suzaku whisper quietly. It's not hard to hear the concern in his voice. "What's wrong?" he asks lowly as if I might break if he spoke any louder.

I can't believe how much I've actually fallen that even _Suzaku_ knows how vulnerable I've become. I never imagined my barriers would fall like this.

"I," my sentence starts slow, but I can feel myself slipping and losing my nerve.

It's now or never.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time," I continue and turn back to face him.

"Lelouch, you're not-"

"Stop. Please just...let me finish," I plead and wait for his short nod of approval. He looks confused, but he lets me continue.

"Thank you," I try to smile, but it probably doesn't look as genuine as I'd like it to be. "I originally called you out here, because I...well," I swallow what's left of my pride. "I need your forgiveness. I know it's not something I have the right to ask for anymore," I sigh tiredly. Truth be told I'd rather be sleeping than dealing with anything anymore.

He deserves to know the truth. Even if he might not want to hear it...

"Lulu," he calls out to me sadly.

I shake my head. "I suppose it's what I deserve after everything I've done," I murmur to myself. "Suzaku, what happened with Euphie," I pause for a bit when I see a quick look of anger flash through his eyes. It passed quickly, but I knew it wasn't a happy topic for him. "I'm really sorry it had to go the way it did. It wasn't intentional on my part. The Geass got stronger and I no longer held the power to turn it on and off at will. I...I made a joke. A terrible joke, but the Geass activated and," I trailed off to look back down at my hands curled around the bed sheets. The pain in my chest was unbearable. It hurt just thinking about my poor sister's fate.

"Lelouch it-"

"When I still led the Black Knights I could pretend that Euphie died for the greater good. That one day I could create a world she would be proud of. I could pretend that she didn't die in vain, but now that I've been thrown out of my own army I know she did. I killed her, Suzaku. I ended her life early, and there's nothing I have to show for it."

"Lulu-"

"So sorry..." I whisper sorrowfully. I can feel the hot tears streaming down my face, and I can't stop the shaking that wreaks my body. "I'm so sorry, Suzaku. I've made you go through so much already. You didn't deserve to have Euphemia taken from you too. It's my biggest regret. If I...if I could trade places with Euphie, Suzaku," I lift my head to look him in the eyes. "I'd do it in a heartbeat," I finish sincerely.

His emerald green eyes widen in shock, and for a moment he's speechless. He just simply stares, and I turn away again not wanting to face his anger once again. I blame myself enough for her death. He doesn't have to add more grief.

It's now or never I remind myself again.

"I," my eyebrows furrow and more tears seem to start flowing. "I love you, Suzaku. So very much," I can't help but sniff. I'd never imagined telling him. Not in my wildest dreams, and yet here I was spilling everything like a broken journal. "I...I wish we'd never met. At least then I could have avoided causing you so much pain."

He embraces me tightly. I'm surprised at first, and it helps me regain some of my composure.

"Shhh," he whispers soothingly, and rubs small circles on my back. "It's alright, Lulu," he calls softly. He pulls back a little smiling, and raises one of his hands to cup my cheek gently. He brushes some of my tears away, and kisses my cheek.

"I love you too," he speaks sounding sincerely, but I know he can't mean it. I'm not allowed happiness.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that, Suzaku," I say sadly. "It's a shame I can't in good conscious actually believe you."

Suzaku's kind expression is quickly changed into one of confusion.

"I love you, but...I know you don't actually love me. You can't. It's too soon from Euphemia. If you truly believe you love me, it's because you're trying to latch onto something hoping it'll distract you from what you've lost. I don't want you to give me hope about us having anything when you're just going to retract your feelings in the future," I finish forlornly. "I can understand if you're doing it to spite me, however, I beg you stop this if that's what your true intentions are," I plead. It's cruel and I don't know if I'd be able to manage the hurt. Not when it's something this important.

"Lelouch," he speaks seriously. "Look, I know I'm an ass. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. I was so consumed with my hate for Zero that I didn't even bother to think about you in the matter. I should have known killing Euphie must have been hard for you too, but you can't just write my emotions off as irrational. I've been in love with you for a long time Lulu, and just because you refuse to believe it doesn't mean I'm going to stop anytime soon," he looks pained while he says it, and I can actually hear the sincerity behind his words.

"Suza-"

"Stop it," he quickly interrupts. "I've _never_ loved Euphemia as anything more than a sister. _Never_," he repeats the word as if to add emphasis. "It's you, Lelouch. You're the one I'm in love with. It's always been you. How can I prove it to you?" Suzaku asks. His posture shows that he's a bit tense from my lack of belief in him.

"I don't-" I start, but before I can finish he's already closed the distance between us again. His arms are securely wrapped around me, and I can feel his slightly chapped lips on mine. His kiss is desperate and makes it hard to focus on anything else.

I can feel different emotions pouring off him. Emotions like love, compassion, desire, and _need_. It actually hadn't occurred to me that Suzaku was more of a physical being. He's always expressed things better through actions than words.

He pulled away from my mouth and started kissing down to my shoulder. I couldn't suppress the small moan that escaped me as he sucked hard on a particular spot on my neck and lavished it with attention. It seemed to drive him further as his hands wandered around me, exploring all the seemingly uncharted skin before him. I knew his nipping and biting would leave marks, but that was the least of my concerns at the moment. Having Suzaku like this...I imagine it's what heaven would feel like.

He _definitely_ wouldn't be doing this if his feelings weren't genuine. I don't think he could fake this kind of attraction.

His mouth found mine again, and I felt one of his hands gently tug at my hair. It wasn't until I felt a hand nearly grope my private places that I finally managed to snap out of my daze, and re-access the situation.

It had been a _really_ long time since I'd done this with anyone, and the sensations were extremely intoxicating.

I lifted my head a bit to take a quick look at the discarded bed sheet I'd previously been using as a blanket now laying on the floor and I then turned back towards Suzaku. To my surprise he'd somehow managed to shift his position so he was now closer. His legs were on either side of my non injured one, and he was leaning over me.

When had he moved me so I was laying on my back?

I hadn't felt it when he moved me. He must have done it very gently. My body was healing up nicely, but it would still be a long while until I fully recovered.

Suzaku looked flushed, and positively glowing. He was happy, and didn't seem to care at all that we were in a public place in a _very_ public facility. Who knows how many people walked in here normally? He probably found the probability of getting caught exciting.

"Suzaku!" I tried to protest, but it came out sounding weak as he started caressing the sensitive skin around my waist. His hands were under the hospital gown, and he was once again biting and nipping the skin on my neck.

"It's alright, Lelouch," he cooed softly into my ear, and gently sucked on it.

I unexpectedly gave another low moan, and internally cursed myself for urging Suzaku on further. As much as I wanted this, I didn't like idea of having sex in the hospital. It was amazing how careful Suzaku was being with me though. He was paying extremely close attention and avoiding the areas that still hadn't fully healed. Still, I couldn't help but worry that someone would walk in on us.

I turned to face the door, but only got to briefly ponder the possibility before Suzaku cupped my cheek and redirected my gaze to himself.

"Focus on me, Lelouch," Suzaku demanded. His gaze showed a determination I knew belonged solely to him. "It's just you and me alright? Nothing else matters right now. You're the world to me, Lelouch. Let me be the same for you," he whispered quietly and one of his hands trailed up my chest, gently caressing every inch of skin it crossed along the way.

I arched into his touch, and stopped trying to resist him. It was damn near impossible anyway. I felt a jolt of pleasure when I felt he'd finally moved his other hand to grab my length. He was moving his hand up and down slowly while the hand under the gown ghosted over my skin. I'd have to be a liar to say it didn't feel amazing.

I opened my half lidded eyes, and saw he was pacing himself. He was trailing kisses along my jaw, and would occasionally bite me here and there. I don't know if he was purposely trying to mark me or not, but it felt great.

Who knew Suzaku could be so good at this...

"Suzaku..." I muttered weakly, and couldn't suppress the moans that forced themselves out of my throat as I felt the pleasure increase inside me.

"Just relax," he murmured quietly into my ear, but just hearing him like this was...absolutely incredible!

His lips found mine again, and he deepened the kiss. I parted my lips, and soon after felt his tongue invade my mouth. I didn't try to fight him for dominance. Anything he does feels great, and I really wish I could make this pleasure last forever. It appeared as though he was mapping me out.

The hand ghosting around my skin soon joined the other, and Suzaku increased the pressure on me. He sped up the pace. I could feel myself reaching my end as he did so. I felt like I was going to burst any minute.

"Suzaku! I'm-," I cried loudly as I finished, staining his hand and clothes in the process.

My heart was beating incredibly fast and I could feel the effects of sleep washing over me. I vaguely noticed Suzaku sitting up now. He slowly licked my essence off his hand, and gave me a warm smile.

I noticed he was still fully clothed, and felt embarrassed. How could I enjoy myself when I hadn't even bothered attempting to return the favor.

"Aren't you going to...?" I trailed off sounding a bit unsure even to myself as I felt the drowsiness growing in urgency.

"No," he replied cheerfully, I could vaguely see him leaning over me again. He planted a gently kiss on my forehead. "You're still injured, Lelouch. Perhaps we can try it later though," he answered.

I tried to nod, but I'm not sure if it actually came out.

"I'm going to clean up before someone walks in," he answered again, and slowly crawled away from me. He gently lifted my arm and kissed the back of my hand. "I love you, Lulu. We'll talk more when you wake up," he spoke up, and I found myself wishing he'd just stayed with me on the bed.

Suzaku's genuine love and concern were a warm change, and I managed to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I hope you liked the chapter even though it also wasn't that long. :( I finally managed to finish it today. Over half of it wrote itself, so I hope it didn't turn out bad.

**Regarding Next Chapter: **This story will be reaching it's ending soon. I suspect that if not next chapter perhaps it'll be the one after that. In any case, because I have been gone and owe you guys, I will be letting you decide in who's POV the next chapter will take place. Options of course being: Lelouch, Suzaku, and C.C. Either tell me in a review or PM...I might just make a poll tomorrow. Not sure yet. =/

Review if you have time~

Thank your for reading :D


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